It will come as no surprise to anyone who knows me in real life when I say that I can be a worrier. Like many people in this overwhelming world I struggle with moments of anxiety and excessive concern. I might joke that I’m a nervous nell or that I have a hard time letting things go, but the truth is that I do wish I was better at going with the flow and not concerning myself with every little detail. There are ways that budgies have helped me cope with anxiety, but on the flip side, they have also aggravated my concerns to an uncomfortable degree at times.
Positives regarding budgies and anxiety
There are so many ways the budgies have helped me cope with anxiety, it’s no surprise that some folks use them as emotional support animals, although as you know I don’t advocate for bringing budgies out into the world with you.
- Budgies are super sensitive to their flock, and this includes their humans. I know that Toby, in particular, gets out of sorts if I’m angry or feeling cranky. Making sure that I’m centered and feeling calm before I walk in the door from work definitely helps me manage my emotional temperature. I value the time that I spend with the budgies and I don’t want to waste it by putting them off as soon as I come home.
- Having any pet to care for is soothing, even though you can’t pet a budgie the way you would a dog or cat (at least my budgies aren’t cuddly). Interacting with them helps me get out of a negative head space. Coming up with enriching new food and activity experiences for them, devoting mental space to designing their physical space, and generally amusing and being amused by them can be a great distraction from worrying about work, family, or whatever is bringing you down.
- When they are relaxed it helps me relax. Sometimes if I’m particularly stressed at work I open up my Security Camera app and listen to them singing. It immediately helps me center myself and refocus when I hear them having a happy day. Another good one is listening to them grind their beaks before going to sleep. Even hearing the soft rustling of their wings as they preen themselves can help me feel more centered and calm.
Negatives regarding budgies and anxiety
This is probably pretty obvious, but the list of things that you can worry yourself to death over regarding pet budgies could probably run the length of a football field.
The first eight months we had Toby I worried constantly about her dying. Every time she cleared her crop, preened herself too much, molted, had a night terror, or looked at me sideways I would dramatically declare she was dying. I misspent a ton of energy worrying about her well-being. In fact, I remember sitting myself down for a talking to and acknowledging that if I couldn’t get my anxiety about her health under control I was going to have to give her up for both our sakes.
A couple of things helped me with this, the first was time passing and her continuing to live, second was adding Kelly to the mix. Somehow having two budgies to fuss over decreased my nervousness instead of doubling it. Maybe splitting the concern made it impossible to maintain at that intense level? Who knows!
On the other hand, fear of them dying is totally valid. I do a lot of research about budgies both for the blog and to be a well-informed pet parent. There are so many ways to kill a budgie accidentally, including, I just saw, frying avocados in your home! Not that I had any plans to fry avocados, but wow, if you want a delicate pet that requires tons of special handling budgies are for you!
I’ve done all my due diligence and we don’t use anything that isn’t safe for the budgies, but I’m sure there’s some new thing just around the corner. And even with being pretty near 100% bird-proofed, I worry when they pick up puzzle pieces of a new cardboard Puzzle, or if they try to climb up my sleeve and I’m wearing (Fragrance-Free) deodorant. I mean, you can just drive yourself utterly insane worrying about every tiny thing that might possibly harm them. And that’s just physically, when you start adding in concerns over their mental health it’s enough to go completely around the bend.
For me the positive impact on my tendency to worry far outweighs the negative impact. The knowledge that I am on top of their physical and mental needs makes me feel good. Knowing that I have supplies for minor emergencies and know who to seek out in the event of a major emergency help me feel prepared for the inevitable fiascos waiting down the road. Some of it, I think, is just coming to terms with the fact that there will be loss. Although I could have 15 years with my budgies, it’s pretty unlikely, and like with almost any pet, knowing that there will be grief someday is hard to handle, even if it’s a natural part of life.
I think it’s okay to acknowledge that owning budgies can be scary and worrisome. I’m sure that there are folks out there who will read this and think that I’m way high strung and overblowing everything. There are all kinds of ways to live, and I have a certain amount of envy for people who are able to think that things will mostly work out okay. Whether it’s true or not, I’m more the type to think that things will mostly work out okay, if I put in a ton of work and worry and don’t let any balls drop for a moment! So, for all of the readers out there who are like me, we are doing the best we can and should just try to enjoy the moment as much as possible.
4 thoughts on “Budgies and anxiety – two sides of the coin”
This is a very thoughtful post that I can really identify with!
Thank you! I was hoping it would resonate with some other budgie parents 🙂
I completely can relate to everything you mentioned in your post.My birds keep me going especially with all of the daily stresses. I have had budgies in my life(now our lives–hehe)for a long time and sadly loss is part of it. I know it was so hard when I only had one bird at a time but then stressed about what happens when another or others lose their mate, their friend, and it is sad for all of us.It was a new experience to see how budgies grieve but I have also benefited from welcoming a new little friend into the mix too. Always dealing with daily and evening dramas when a new bird joins the flock as you know all too well. Try not to dwell on the eventual losses. The best thing I have learned from my birds is their “in the moment” joy!
Thanks so much for your comment and kind words! Most of the time now the possibility of loss seems fairly remote, I’m doing a lot better than I was at the outset. But, grief will visit our flock sometime and I will do my best to celebrate the life that was rather than dwell too much on what’s gone.
The “in the moment” joy is pure magic! The best remedy for a bad day is coming home and spending time with my bids 🙂